Starting Therapy? Here's What to Expect

Whether you’re starting therapy for the first time in your life or you’re experienced with therapy, the first session can bring up many different feelings. You might be excited to get started, and you might be nervous about what to expect. These feelings are totally normal.

I wrote this post to give you a clearer picture of what you can expect from therapy with me. I hope this helps take some of the pressure off. You’ve already taken a big step by starting therapy.

Therapy is collaborative.

We will work together to decide what needs time and focus in therapy. I always want to hear what you want to work on, but you’re never required to show up with an agenda.

This is especially true during the first few sessions. I tend to lead more in the beginning as we get to know each other. I hope this helps you feel less like you need to arrive with a prepared “presentation.”

Over time, I want therapy to feel increasingly collaborative, with both of us bringing our perspective to the work.

There is no "right" way to do therapy.

Eye contact? Not required.

Sitting still? If you feel like it.

Sitting at all? Optional.

Want to show me a picture, a reel, a song, a text, or something else that helps explain what you’re experiencing? Please feel free.

Your therapy is your own. You don’t need to perform “being a good therapy client.” I want you to be able to show up in whatever way feels most comfortable and authentic to you.

It's okay to tell me if something isn't working.

I know how incredibly hard it can be to bring up an issue with your therapist. You might worry about hurting my feelings or somehow damaging the therapeutic relationship.

My intention is always to listen to feedback non-defensively and to work towards repair with you. I want to hear if I’ve said or done something that didn’t feel right to you, upset you, or just wasn’t helpful.

Being able to talk openly about what is and isn’t working can actually be an important part of the therapeutic process. Sometimes the moments when we work through a misunderstanding or something that didn’t feel right can become some of the most meaningful moments in therapy.

You don’t have to tell me anything you’re not comfortable with.

I understand that some information feels too hard to share, especially at first. While I welcome all parts of you in the therapeutic process, I understand that it can take time to build trust. It is perfectly okay to wait to share about trauma, intrusive thoughts, self-harm, substance use, affairs, or other very sensitive topics. And even then, it is your choice how much you share. I suggest if something feels important but too hard to share, you can always say, “That feels too hard to share right now.”

I might help you explore your fears of talking about it, but I will never push you to talk about something when it feels too soon.

There is nothing too “small” or too “big” to share.

One of my favorite parts of being a therapist is getting the privilege to enter another person’s world. Feel free to share about anything that’s on your mind. Please also know that you don’t need to protect me from the really hard stuff. You don’t have to soften it, make it easier to hear, or worry about how I’ll react. My job is to be with you in those moments, not for you to take care of me.

Therapy is a process not a race.

It is not a linear process either. Some sessions you’ll leave feeling better than when you came in. Other sessions you might leave feeling raw. We will work together to find the pacing that helps you reach your goals without being overwhelming.

We are human beings, not machines.

Growth doesn’t just happen in session.

During the week, you will have opportunities to practice the skills you learn in therapy. That might be pausing and taking a breath before reacting to your partner, prioritizing your sleep routine, or checking in with yourself to see what you need when you feel overwhelmed.

For some clients, taking notes during the week helps to bring awareness to challenges and progress. I sometimes make suggestions for what you can focus on or what you might practice during the week. This is always a gentle suggestion, and never required “homework.”

You don’t have to have therapy figured out.

You don’t need to know exactly what you need from therapy before you begin. You don’t need to know how to explain everything that has happened to you, or even where to start. I am here to support you through the process as you gain clarity, momentum, and confidence.

My hope is that therapy becomes a place where you can be honest, curious, and fully yourself. I am honored to work with you.